![]() ![]() You overlook flaws or red flags because your mind has already convinced you that this has to work. If you’re so focused on finding Happily Ever After, you run the risk of pushing other people into boxes that they don’t belong in (or don’t want to be in) or forcing a spark. Sometimes, we want to be in a relationship so badly ( dating burnout is real) that we don’t even realize we’re more attracted to the idea of a relationship than the person we’re in a relationship with. Make sure you’re attracted to the person, not the idea of a relationship Also, whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or are looking for more of a casual fling, communicate it.ģ. It’s not always fun to talk about things like life goals, religion, marriage, politics, etc., but naturally work your deal-breakers into the conversation to make sure you’re at least on the same page as soon as you start to see a future together. Of course, you don’t need to (and probably shouldn’t) ask how many kids they want before the salad course arrives on date #1, but you don’t want to wait until after one year of dating to find out that they never want to get married if marriage is a non-negotiable for you. While you shouldn’t focus on the past, you should focus on the future, at least somewhat. There’s no need to explain what went wrong in your last relationship on the first date or find out about their dating past before you know the names of their siblings and where they grew up. ![]() ![]() Spend the first few dates getting to know your partner’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and personality traits, while they’re getting to know yours. Likewise, while the “dating history” conversation will be an important one eventually, don’t rush into it. If they’re trustworthy enough to date, that means you should trust them. Focus on the qualities that make your new partner different. For example, if a past partner was unfaithful, don’t distrust your new partner just because of what an ex-relationship was like. But even if old fears and insecurities may prevent heartbreak, they can also prevent you from truly being happy in a new relationship. It’s natural to bring your fears and negative experiences to a new relationship after all, it’s a survival mechanism to prevent getting your heart broken again. ![]()
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